Twilight Newborns

The transformation is painful (A Twilight Series fansite and podcast)

PR School for Rob Pattinson: Now Enrolling!

Posted on | March 9, 2010 | No Comments

Rob: At ComicCon or trying out for the role of Mr. Snuffleupagus?

Hey Rob, we understand your climb to fame was meteoric. One day, you’re chillaxin’ with your guitar in coffeebars and, then the next day, the gates of hell are threatening to open up to suck you in.

But never fear, my brother, the Twilight Newborns have launched their own PR bootcamps for “Men Would Have Been Cast as Edwards in Twilight Movie Adaptations.”

Our sessions include:

  • “How to Diplomatically handle pushy reporters”
  • “The Art of the Snarky Comeback”
  • “Pretending to sleep to avoid annoying questions”
  • “The ‘What Game” (“What? What did you say? I can’t hear you, what!?!’)”
  • “Dressing for Success: Choosing a Slimming Beanie”
  • “Using your British accent to lull reporters into a false sense of security”
  • “It’s Ok to say you aren’t dating your co-worker”
  • and finally “So Your Fans Sound like the Gates of Hell”

Hot Pocket buffet lunch and continental breakfast are included in the cost.

Also, invite a friend and save!
Only good for male British actor friends you know who might have put their foots in their mouths during Sundance Film Festival <cough, Orlando>.

OUR 100% GUARANTEE: After this boot camp, quotes like “I’m allergic to vagina,” no matter how true, will magically never be uttered again.

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